Archive for January, 2008

“Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counselors.” Psalm 119:24

One of the more controversial issues today is the subject of counsel. It is estimated that nearly 85% of all counseling deals directly with the issues of marriage and relationships in general.

There are three specific areas related to counsel:

• Why do we need counsel
• Who should give us counsel
• How should counsel be given

How should counsel be given?

There are times when counsel is needed. Who gives us counsel is of utmost importance, including our need to discern the source of that counsel. How counsel is given is another critical aspect.

When someone comes to you seeking counsel, you should remember these six principles:

• How should counsel be given? Always use the Bible.

Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counselors.  Psalm 119:24

Now all these things happened unto them for examples: and they are written for our admonition (counsel), upon whom the ends of the world are come. I Corinthians 10:11

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort (counsel) with all longsuffering and doctrine. II Timothy 4:2

Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort (counsel) and to convince the gainsayers. Titus 1:9

These things speak, and exhort (counsel), and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee. Titus 2:15

It is an amazing thing to observe man ignoring the most obvious source of good counsel – the word of God!

Fathers will do well to seek counsel from the most accurate, inspired and truthful source available, the Bible. It’s our Creator’s own blueprint on our design and operation.

Throughout the pages of the Bible, God has placed His wisdom, His perspective and His knowledge about all matters of the heart of man, placing His counsel to us in written form for all to be guided by!

• How should counsel be given? With respect for age differences.

Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. I Timothy 5:1-2

It is obvious that a younger person is given opportunity to counsel an older person. Many times though, an older person will not receive the counsel from a younger person because of attitude. A younger person who approaches an older believer with an attitude of arrogance, self-confidence or authority, will always be rebuffed by the older one.

This may explain why so many young people poor relationships with their fathers – because their attitude toward the older one was based on a false sense of “self-worth.” Often times, young people desire the “respect” that goes along with position and knowledge obtained but neglect the fact that the older person has “already been there and done that.”

No where in God’s word are younger men told to rebuke an older believer – but, to approach him as a “father.” Attitude is everything in counseling. When a young man understands these things, he also sees those that are his peers as “brothers.”

This same approach applies to women as well. As with older men, older women are to be approached with the same humbled heart by the younger women, esteeming them as “mothers.” When a younger woman’s walk is right before God, she also sees those that are her peers as “sisters.”

• How should counsel be given? With respect for sexual differences.

But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. Titus 2:1-6

Older men and younger men:

It has always been God’s wise design to command “aged men” to act in a manner of their vocation – sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity and in patience. Why? Because these are the very things older men are told to “counsel” younger men in! The last verse of Titus 2:1-6 says this – older men exhort (counsel) young men to be sober minded.

Older women and younger women:

God has much to say about what He expects of older women too. An older woman’s conduct should mirror, “holiness, not false accusers, prone to much wine and teachers of good things.” When an older woman possesses this type of self-control and temperance, they are best qualified to teach younger women to be “sober, love their husbands and children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands and so on.”

Why are these things so important to God? So the word of God won’t be blasphemed (mocked) by outsiders. Unbelievers who observe what is being said or done by believers toward one another, take great pleasure in exposing that conduct for the rest of the world to see!

Next up? A special commentary on the plight of the church related to counsel…

Stay tuned!

~ William Cody Bateman